Reveries

My blog has been dormant for a while now. It needs a little spicing up and talking to be called alive. And though I have had a number of blog posts in my head all this while, they never culminated into writing. They were the kind of thoughts I woke up to a random morning, or imagined sitting on the pot, or something that struck me while pretending to listen to the lecturer, or hop just about when I'd be dreaming.

My exams are going on right now and have a four day break in between. One week after exams, I am going to start another internship. Two weeks into that, I'd be off to homeland.  Di's wedding! Soon after that, which is two weeks, I'd be back to resume my internship. And after another four weeks, I'd be back to college. So like that my life is almost planned till the end of this year. With no plans for Christmas or New year coz that is when I'd be working!

I love planning. I love peeping into probable future and daydream/plan :D And lately I have been ruminating a lot. 

I remember the first day of my CAT classes, I was asked to write a page on "Where do you see yourself ten years hence?" And I was clueless. Anyhow I wrote more than a page. And sounded convincing too. Now at 22, when I try to imagine my next ten years, I am flustered. Time is flying. The third decade of my life has already begun and there is so much to do! The last ten years were so slow. I was ten- the innocuous life I led not caring two hoots about what I wanted to see myself as in future. One day I wanted to be a fashion designer, another day an architect, next an air hostess or a doctor. Woah!

And now as I try peeping into my future- the next ten years- I only wish I had more years in this decade. I wish I could fit in just a few more years before I turned thirty! Ideally in the next 8 years- I have to build a career, earn a lot of money, have a house of my own, get married and have kids! Like really? All of this in 8 years? Okay may be house can wait, but the rest of it, I doubt! The Neocortex of my brain is evidently hyper active right now, but when everybody around you is getting married and you see other people settled in life, you wonder- Am I getting there?

However, I am content with what I have right now. And I have a lot to look forward to. I am happy about that. I am happy that at least I'm sure of where I am heading. I am not clueless like others my age (referring to my friends) who don't know what they want in life. They are just about ready to take whatever comes their way. They don't have a choice. I don't understand that. Perhaps they are more flexible and change their roads as they go. But how directionless and unstable could that get!

image courtesy: deviantart

Don't want to ruin it with a post title

It's been quite some time since I posted something. Not because I had nothing to say. Mundaneness of my life always gives me things to talk about. Even if that means I crib. But it's time I posted something sensible on my blog, considering my dwindling readers. And my waning interest in blogging.

Anyhow.

I have this 'Creative Planning' module in my Advertising course where I am given a H.W. (I like the sound of home work :P better than assignments). And the Oh-so-awesome creative person that I am, I just can't think of anything for my H.W. The task is simple. I have to make 3 ads on "Obeying traffic rules". It is simple. But there is a catch. The teacher gave us a proposition on which we have to work (which actually makes it simpler, but difficult at the same time) The proposition is-- ok whatever, I am spending a lot of time on trivial things. This is going to be a Serious post!

Yea so. For this assignment when I started looking at stuff online- I found this heart wrenching story of a girl named Jacqueline who survived a major major road accident which was a case of drunken driving. I had briefly come across this story a few years back, but never really bothered digging deep. Today when I read through all the related matter available online, I was disconcerted. 

Jacqueline is almost as old as I am. And the kind of predicament she's been through doesn't even compare to what we crib about in our daily life. We lament for a bigger house, a better boss, a slimmer figure, a fatter salary, a longer holiday- what we fail to notice are the gifts we are already blessed with. And I am definitely guilty! I whine a great deal of things not going right in my life. And to tell you the truth, I guess it is deliberate denial. I don't like reading newspapers, I don't like listening to news. It only brings distress to my life. And seldom when I do read newspaper, my day turns out very bad. Like today, I read a news article on eve teasing in Kerala. And it infuriated me to no end. I kept thinking about that.

I found a clip on youtube where Jacqueline talks about enduring through the ups and downs of life. And though I know, I may forget all of this in a few days, and live my mundane life and crib and dream and hope and fall and rise and smile and hop and cry and whine and live... 

...for now I feel totally blessed and indebted for all I have in my world.

O Advertising!

**sigh**

End of a marathon weekend. 

I had been yearning for a long holiday, and when I finally got one I became all the more lazy. I am not looking forward to another Monday and more assignments.

So what did I do this holiday?

I indulged in a lot of introspection. Off late I have become this grumpy person. The only solace is the phonecalls from home when I somehow get detached from this carnivorous world around me. So this weekend I spent a lot of time with myself doing nothing. I stayed perched on my bed all through. Got up only to go to the mess. 

I want college to get over. And how much ever you say that I am going to look back at these days and sigh and long to get back, right at this moment I only want the time to fly. And I really hope what lies ahead is better than present.

Things I did-

This weekend I listened to a lot of Dave Matthews band- on repeat.

I did another post on my new blog. Here. You should check :) especially if you are from Bangalore. I caught up on reading. Online though. Watched a few ads I had missed off late. Browsed through advertising portals. Apart from that I stalked people on Facebook. Ok so now don't think I am this compulsive-lunatic-stranger-stalking woman coz I AM NOT. For my defence, I'd say am a curious woman :D. Anyways so this female who I was facebook stalking is a successful woman working in Advertising. I saw her picture in one of the news articles and wondered how old she was. And there it started. I facebooked her :) only to find that she was 40 :O when she looked so much younger. Her life looked dreamy- great career, great husband, great kids. Rosy hued. Everything just about perfect. And I got lost in my own fantasy land, imagining my future- whining about my crappy present- and mentally making a note of what I want in life.

I was 17 when I decided to make Advertising my career choice. And though I won't say I regret, I sure was naive. It was not the glamour (does it even exist?) of advertising, it was the excitement of creating ideas and the love for advertisements that hooked me. And I am still dazed. Advertising has now become a partner I am in a relationship with for past 5 years. 

And...I am dying to get married! 

In the course of my relationship I have been tempted to astray many a times, especially in the past one and half years when I came to understand the nuances of the industry. Before that- the first three years of our courtship, I was this loyal woman defending and representing Advertising where ever I went. But the deepest thought of infidelity came upon when I saw the glorious options of Brand Management, Media Research and Media planning in last one and half years considering the alluring pay package and freedom of work they offer. And though all these options are still connected to 'branding and advertising' per se, it is not really ADVERTISING, isn't it? 

And so being the faithful partner I shall stand by you, Advertising, come what may.

Blog warming :)

I created a new blog :)
Talking about something new :)

Please go to http://coffeenapple.blogspot.com/ to know more :)

Wake me up when September ends..

When one thing goes wrong, everything else also starts going wrong. It is an avalanche effect. And it feels terrible to be under such a cascading effect, when you are continuously toppled over with one thing after another. Last ten days have been horrendous. And I don't see any speck of light even in the coming days.

Humiliation. Doubt. Arguments. Pain. Overload. Sleepless nights. Dissatisfaction. Insecurity.

And my birthday fell just in between all this pandemonium. Worst birthday ever.

22 hasn't started on the right note.

I have two resolutions this year- I have to learn to be patient. And optimistic.

I really need to.

take your pick

What would you pick- A loyal partner or a faithful partner?

R for Random. S for...

I love to talk.

That is when I am in a good mood.

And if I am really happy, I’d be chirpy, hopping around, talking.

I love talking randomly with people I am close to. I mean really randomly. My tangents can be really steep. One moment I’d be talking about 'this' and the next moment I might be talking about something completely unrelated. And I love doing that. The person usually is puzzled trying to join dots of my conversation, until he finds out how random I could get.

And since I have nothing in particular to write here, I’d be talking random- how I usually do. And you, I’m sorry, will have to bear with my eccentricity.

I had a bad mouth bashing with some people today. And I was irritated as hell. And though I gave a piece of my mind, I am not satisfied. Now I am waiting for the next thing to happen, so that I can prove my stance. The point of argument here is very stupid and not-blogable, so I shall refrain.

I don’t know why my net is not working, I am writing on Word doc and then I’ll have to copy-paste it later. Double effort.

My laptop has become OLD. I shall be celebrating its fourth anniversary in sometime. I want it to survive for another one year and a little more than that, till I get a job and buy another one on my own. I recently saw someone using a Macbook with a red cover. And I found it really really pretty.

I want to read books. I want to watch movies. I want to listen to music. I want to read. But somehow I don’t find time. And that is bull shit. Cos I waste a lot of time. But on second thoughts I used to waste a lot more time during my graduation. How is it, I’m always in the same pit!

I hate it when I write on a word doc, and the smart system puts red and green lines under my sentences. I get a mental block. I need to remove all the red/green lines to be able to start writing again. Hmph…such a waste of time (Oh I knew you wouldn’t understand ‘Hmph’…you MS WORD! **right click...ignore all**)

At the age of 22 (in a few days), I have already become old. I already complain like a grandma about my back ache, my digestive system, my bones, my eyes. Everything is in place, but needs a servicing. I want hoooooooooommmmmmmmeeeee!!

I don't like college anymore. I want home. My home. I hope after I start working, my life sees better days than this. I really really want a house of my own.

I tasted red wine last night. And it tasted sad. Wine out of all other things I thought would taste good. But No. Coming to my favourite topic, I had an amazing dinner last night. I had authentic Malyalee food. And though I detested beef all this while, for the first time in my life last night I relished it. I had tasted beef several times before and always hated it. But much to my surprise, the mal style beef was crazy. He was beaming with joy that I finally did warm up to his favourite meat.

My birthday is around the corner. And this time somehow I am not looking forward to it. Period.

I am so sleepy. The lunch in the mess today was sad. I love the silence in my room.

Few weeks back, thanks to one of my teachers, I sent a story to Chicken Soup for the College Soul. I was brutally rejected. Ok not brutally; the lady was sweet to me, but I was sad. Apparently my story wasn’t emotional enough. They needed a ‘moral’ at the end of the story. What? Am I writing Aesop's fables? The day dreamer that I am, I had already found a place in cloud nine for planning my career in writing. Jokes apart, I am going to send another story for the next issue, hopefully with more emotions and morals :P

I need to wash clothes. When will the room cleaning squad come to my room? My room has been made a mess!

He has become an atheist.

I have to take a bath. Or should I watch Grey’s Anatomy instead? Why is the internet still not working? I have to check the meaning of Esplanade in the dictionary. It is a name of a Bengali restaurant in Bangalore. Want to go there. Heard it is expensive.

I want to own a restaurant one day.

I love Appy Fizz, but I think the 20rs bottle is over priced.

Alright enough randomness, it is already 4 o’ clock. I should wrap up. Ta!