The New me?

My internship has started. This means I am going to blog more often. Why? Because I’ll have something new to crib talk about. So officially two days into internship and I have spent more time travelling in the bus than in the office. Believe you me, this is not an exaggeration. Just my luck. First day they sent me back. I know! Woke up early morning 7 o’ clock (IT IS EARLY), hurriedly had my favourite Monday breakfast, ran to the bus stop, took more than two hours to reach the office, thanks to morning traffic. Only to come back? Yes. Some internal miscommunication- the reason if you may wonder.

Anyways, I took it in my stride- after of course whining about it for a few minutes to my folks. Second day i.e. today I am not sent back. But I am asked to study consumers. So again, No office for me. Without divulging into details let me tell u, all I have to do is observe people. And write a report on it at the end of the day. *sigh* DONE.

I have no complaints though. I enjoyed what I did. I intimidated people by staring at them- something I wouldn’t do in my usual sensible self. As it is I don’t have a very happy or welcoming face when I am around people I don’t know or like. I usually have this cold look. And people most often think I am pissed off all the time. It is so much fun to see people’s reaction when they get to know me. Oh! Am full of surprises :D

I travelled a lot in these two days. In Bus. On foot. O, I love to walk, by the way. In Bangalore, I have never travelled alone. Ok not never, but seldom. Whenever I go out, it is with S, so I never really have to go alone anywhere. All the Bangalore that I have seen till now is thanks to S’s bike. O, I hate bike rides, by the way.

This was not the case in Pune. I was forbidden (by MOM!) to get on a bike. I usually took an auto or a bus. And there I have travelled alone a LOT of times. My CAT coaching was far far away; that was one regular journey every week. Apart from that I’d go to meet my sister or parents at times or for some sundry work.

But travelling alone this time felt so different.

I was scared.

I put my bold self in front when in public. But deep down inside I’m anxious all the time. In these two days I realised that I need to get back to my old self. With him by my side, I never have to worry about anything. I walk around in abandon knowing he is around to watch out. I never realised I had become so dependent. While I like the sense of security when he’s around, I don’t want to become this scared person that I have become!

I used to love living alone in my room, waiting for my room mates to go home. And this time too, I was so happy to have the entire room to myself. But I felt scared at night. This does not happen with ME!! I never get scared. I used to pride myself with the fact that I’m not girlie and can take care of myself. Why did I get scared last night then? Why do I triple check all the latches? Why do I keep the lights switched on at night? Why am I scared to look behind?

Could it be because I have stopped praying?

I watched the movie “Taken” the other day. And it just fuelled all my thoughts. It is one heck of a movie. Those who haven’t watched, please DO.

More later. Ta!