Like a boss

When people asked him what he wanted to become when he grew up, he said, “I want to be a boss!” Not doctor, engineer, pilot or police. He wanted to be a boss. This is my friend’s story. I was really fascinated and amused when he told me about his childhood dream. How ambitious, I thought. He said that he saw a boss as someone who is very important and treated with a lot of respect – and that is what he wanted to be. 

I never wanted to be a boss. Even today, I don’t want to be a boss. Being a boss is a pain. I have a few people reporting to me at work, and I hate it! I want to be seen as a friend and want to get work done amicably, without ordering people around. And the balancing act – of being nice to them but still serious enough so that they don’t take me for granted – is very difficult. It is exhausting!

I am an ambitious person but sometimes I wonder if I have it in me to be a leader. I strive for consensus, to make everyone happy, to take everyone’s opinion, but then I realize that it is a waste of time and energy because we never come to a conclusion. Perhaps, ‘majority wins’ is not the best solution. Many a times, I work extra, because it is so exhausting to tell them what needs to be done that instead I do it myself, in less than half the time that they would take. I know it is a bad habit, and I have to learn to delegate efficiently. I hate to be critical but I just wish people were a bit more excited about their work, and didn’t see it as a chore. I love my job but people make it frustrating sometimes.

I want to be a cool boss who is fun to be around and does not breathe down your neck making you work. I want to be an efficient boss who gets her hand dirty and works with everyone to meet the deadline. I want to be a boss who has a life beyond work. I want to be a boss who is approachable. I want to be a boss who is articulate, motivating and comes up with solutions. Perhaps it is about being a good manager, instead of a good leader.

And I do believe I am like that in bits and pieces, but I am not sure if I am doing it right. The thing is I don’t want to be a leader – I want to work, but I don’t want to be responsible for making others work. And I prefer working on my own, instead of working in a team.

Sometimes I feel I should leave all this and become a potter, build my own label of earthenware; I will make teapots and plates and glasses and cups. Reality is that I don’t even know pottery ~chuckle~. So I am far far away from this dream. I love this proliferation of young entrepreneurs I see around me. Not the funded start-ups. But the creative kids who have branched out on their own. I know someone who makes beautiful dream-catchers, I have a friend who makes soaps, another person I know runs a travel group, and someone makes mandalas and teaches meditation. They seem so passionate about their work and feel so fulfilled. I am sure they are not making a lot of money (who knows, I am just assuming!) but at least they are doing something creative.

I want to earn good money and do something that I love. Which is pretty much my job right now, but well, complainers have to complain and make a post out of something during a blogathon :P