Saturday, September 3, 2011

S turns 23 *fireworks*

It was my birthday.. till half an hour back.
I turned 23. It, somehow, does not sound like a nice number to me. It is a tricky age. One is neither here or there. I like the sound of 27. In my mind, I would be a wise-independent-mature woman at 27. Right now, I am just naive and unsure. World is revealing itself to me. I am finding myself, losing myself, regaining myself. And in the process leaving behind ashes.

Recently I read this somewhere..
And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
- Khalil Gibran

And suddenly I felt my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. It was a weird feeling.

This birthday was weird in a similar way. My birthday happened to fall between the long weekend and I bunked my office. That was a good feeling. The entire prospect of a four-day-long weekend was exciting. But that zest soon fizzled out, as usual. That was not the weird bit.

At 00:00 with a glass of wine in hand, chocolate mousse cake on my lips and a bunch of roses on my lap- what more could I have asked for. That was to be a perfect moment. But it did not feel that way. That was weird. I was in a secluded state of mind. I did not want to be disturbed. I was laughing, rolling all over. At that moment, my world was only that. I did not want to talk to anybody else, other than the people I had with me that time. And through the night, that feeling stayed till the next day. I didn't want to talk to people on my birthday. Messages were a lot more comfortable mode of communication. This was weird. In general terms, I would have called myself sad. It was a brooding mind at work. What better day to introspect than your birthday?

And then it was over. Without any fireworks.

P.S: I am a dreamer. I dream a lot.