Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I am a loser.. NOT!

(though I have got over that feeling, precisely the reason why I am able to write this post now!)

Yea.. so I felt like a loser.. till sometime back. Now after doing random facebook stalking, reading several unrelated blogs, having a belly aching laugh with S over my childhood antics, eating a cream biscuit.. I am back to my normal self again. I am smiling. :)

Coming back to the point- Being a loser. Well.. well.. One placement offer that I had been eyeing for over a month now, rejected me last night. The offer was great. It wasn't the work profile I wanted, but it was something interesting. And the company was Big. And the money they were offering was also Big. And since the money was big, I thought I could at least pay back my loan and live respectfully without asking for more money from home! It was an opportunity that a sane person wouldn't miss. And so almost the entire class had applied for it :D

I applied too and went through the entire grill of placement process. Right from GD to the final interview, spent 8 hours into it, only to be rejected in the end. If you look at the brighter side, I was at least shortlisted and could experience the process unlike others who tasted defeat right in the beginning. But this doesn't appease the pain. It is just a consolation. What I felt was a complete "Loser" feeling, which honestly I have not felt very often. It is perhaps the only Interview that I have not cracked. It is not to say that I am very brilliant; the thing is I either don't reach the "interview" round :P or if I reach I crack it. :)

The people who cracked the interview and got the offer letter with a handsome sum of annual salary, are not the most intelligent people of the class. In fact the apparent "toppers" of the class actually lost it. Just like me. The people who made it are the "smart" lots. They don't have their noses dipped in books, they don't get the best marks in class, they don't have 90% attendance.. they are the people who enjoy their life, and have committed mistakes, they live a spontaneous life without planning years ahead of them.

And looking at them, I felt like a loser. I felt like the white swan*.

But I don't feel like a loser anymore because I have realised that it is not really ME. I am not that girl. And if I try to become that, I'd be a bigger loser! I am extremely positive that what is meant for me, will come to me no matter what. And I am happy the way I am right now. Effervescent.

* Have you watched the movie Black Swan? It is one crazy movie. Go check it out! It is AWESOME.