Tuesday, April 12, 2011


It is weird.
I thought I’d be super excited when I get a job.
But somehow I am not.
I am numb.
Even after one week into ‘work’.
The feeling has not sunken in yet.
And this feeling of not feeling anything is not great.
My enthusiasm has faded.
Perhaps I need an ignition.
Is this what I was waiting for? All this while?
I don’t like to talk. I don’t like to write.
It is weird.

P.S: This post comes as an obligation to all the kind readers who have been after me to write something. I owe this post to them.
Obligation? It is weird.

P.P.S: Sometimes I feel I have split personalities. I have two faces- one that jumps around, smiles always, loves being the center of attention, talks non-stop, laughs whole heartedly, battles eyelids, makes faces, scribbles, gets decked up, colour codes things, talks in emoticons, wishes on stars, slurps on ice-creams…
Other one is quiet, keeps to herself, smiles but never laughs, reads, doesn’t talk, listens, observes, thinks, judges, gets organized, stays at peace with things, and is asked hundred and thirty times, “S, why don’t you talk?” and she smiles and says. “Nothing like that.”, while deep inside she wonders- really what’s the matter!

The problem is- the two faces are not in my control. It is involuntary. And that is what makes life so weird.


  1. hehehe...
    i felt the same after joinin work.. hehe..
    its ok u wil get used to it.. :)

    thanks for ur comments. :)

  2. @ Anoop:
    :)yeaaa? realllly?
    see am listening to you :P I updated my blog (not to get more followers, of course!) heeheee... :D

  3. Congrats for the job :)

    See I see it this ways, we all go through phases in life!! Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are not but we shouldn't delve too much into it & just enjoy life :)

    As far as no excitement about job is concerned hmm I am sure it is still sinking in ;)

  4. Congratulations for the job S.
    And well, everyone has a split personality. Nothing like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but yes, the peaceful and the restless. Voluntary? Of course, why would you want to strain your brain even to decide to switch from one personality traits into another when there's already so much pressure? :P

    Take care, and earn good money. You'll be good, and maybe the first pay cheque will bring back what is missing. :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  5. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy S,

    Welcome back. So good to see you back. I did miss your posts.Missed you on my page too.

    Hearty Congratlations on getting the job. See, I told you , you will get there!

    Most of us are like that S. We have good days, ok days and bad days and each type of day sees a different side of us. You are fine just the way you are.

    Always Happy

  6. Congratulations girl! :)
    Aweesommeeeee news! :D
    Let it sink in completely! :)

  7. @ blasphemous aesthete:
    yessssssssssss! And thank you soooo much :)
    First pay cheque.. Well, that should be exciting!!! :D

    @ Always Happy:
    Thannnnnnnnkkkksssss a ton sweet heart!
    hopping on to your blog now- sorry for being absent :( Going thru one of those quiet days

    @ Preeti:
    Thank you Preeti :)
    haaaaaaaa... yesssssss.. the numbness is getting to me now :-|

  8. congratulations on the job!! :)

    and *high five* on the split personality...the way i explain it to myself is that it takes a whole lot of effort & energy to be this constantly bubble, jumpy, smiley person! and when ur running low on batteries, that's when all you want to do is think, read, introspect and just be quiet!

    phases of life i guess? :)

  9. Good to see a post from u after a long time...yes it takes time to get used to it. I had gone thru the same phase...amd btw u sound so like me!

  10. @ sunshine:
    Thank youuuuuu <3
    high 5 *sigh*
    I get it.. but how do I explain to hundred others who keeeeeeeeeeeeep asking 'What's the matter?' I DON'T KNOW :-|

    @ Ria:
    thank you :) same phase? how did u get over it? :( haha we same same.. same pinch then!

  11. Well.. guess what? I just finished my first week of work too!

    Yes.. it feel strange. Little weird to suddenly thrown out of the comfortable zone of student life which grew on us for over 12+4+2 years!!

    Phew.. but I definitely think job can be more exciting. It just needs little time and acceptance of the new role. Soak it in. And... by the end of the month.. buy something with what you have earned.. then suddenly it all will make sense.

    All the best! Wish you all good!

  12. Hey congrats! :) I can empathize with you on the rest. I'm in a similar phase.

  13. @ Sameera:
    wooooaaaah.. same pinch :)
    finally i have a friend in the same situation :) but howwwwwwwww on earth do you get to blog so regularly, unlike me :-|

    @ Ajay:
    aaa.. thanks :) i hope things get better for both of us!

  14. hi S, firstly jobs will always be boring baby..no matter how much fun it gives you in the begining, we will always run short of enthu for work, i mean c'mmon who wants to wake up and 7 get dressed and head to the same place. What fun is life if there are no uncertainties ?

    So the point of being moody and two faced, is good, being predictable is boring. its always good to make others think "whats she thinking of now " such is the mystery of being a girl

  15. @ Sulagna:
    tumne meri aankhein khol di :D

    am back in my element now.. the split is not bothering me now :) thanks for dropping by..

  16. You know the worst part... now that you work, it will never get better than this. Sorry, bitter truth.

    You'll just learn to get excited about little non-work things that happen every once in a while. And life will go on, one phase at a time.

  17. Happens...most of us have this two sides...and it's gud...kind of keeps us balanced n saves us from being predictable :)

    As for job, I'm sure very soon you'll have a bunch of friends out there n start loving the new phase of life... (else you know, our generation is very well known for switching jobs at the blink of an eye... :P )

  18. @ Pooja:

    O yesss... blink of an eye :P
    In my interview I was asked, "when are you getting married?" I was dumbfounded. Apparently many girls get married and leave their jobs, so they wanted to make sure :D

  19. Now, this post of yours is both happy(Congrats, for your new job) and sad.(You have started disliking your new job already) The split personality is inherent. :P

  20. Conratulations for the new job gal... Its so good to see you back and I love the new look of you blog...

    Don't worry sweety... It'll take some time to adjust to the new place and settings and then you'll begin to like it...

    Just wait for you first salary cheque and you would be so excited to hold it... :)

  21. Some thinkings never change....why does a gal need to leave a job once married...on the other hand, y do u have to marry to leave the job...leaving it because it's not demanding sounds like the right reason :P

    Jokes apart, try with a one year goal...at least that's what I'm targeting starting from next 5 weeks :)

  22. @ Sayak: Thank you :) and I don't hate my job at all.. I was still settling down that time..so.. now am back to my happy chirpy self :) :) and alllllll these comments helped a lot :)

    @ Tanishka: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Tannnnnnnnn :) Loooooooooooong time :) thank you! and am already enjoying it little little :P that salary cheque will make it super duper :) :)

    @ Pooja: heeheee.. girls get married to different cities :P so.. nothing else..
    But am here to stay I guess :)

  23. And I thought you were talking about me in the last 2 paras :D

  24. Oh split personality disorder thngy eh?
    hmm..but first i need to ask u a few questions to be totally certain..

    1)Have u ever been exposed to highly toxic gamma radiation?
    2)Do u like the color green?
    3)Do u wear elastic Purple pants?
    4)Do u smash things at home?
    5)Do ppl like u whn u get angry?
    6)Have u ever yelled "HULK SMASHHHH" during a conversation?

    If u have answered Y,Y,Y,Y,N,Y for the above questions...Im calling the armed forces!! :\

  25. The first paycheck is a wonderful thing.


  26. @ Rakesh:
    This is a little freaky.. coz the answer to a couple of questions IS right! But I reckon you don't have to call the armed forces yet :) Everything is under control! :D

    @ Utkarsha:
    Hahaha.. yes... it is "wonderful" Thank you soo much :)

  27. working is Weird, Trust me you will get use to it :-)

  28. hey !!

    on well ... it will get a lot worse, believe me !
    Good luck :D :D

  29. .. And dont believe Rakesh .. he has a multiple personality disorder ...

    ..... So, you can never be certain if what he says is for real :D :D

  30. @S
    Yea thts wht all crazy ppl say ..evrythngs under control..blah blah blah :D :D

    look whos talking!!
    u can ignore Deepa Sji :)

  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

  32. @ Just words:
    Weird soon gave way to interesting. :) I love my job ;)

  33. @ Rakesh and Deepa:

    Life is really a lot better thanks to so many "encouraging" people like the two of you :D
    thanks for being around :)

  34. Yes Sulagna. Very soon :)

  35. First things first, congrats on the job :)

    I did say "First things first", but I dunno what to say about the remaining! :|

    About the other S, say hi to her from my side ;)

  36. Blunt.. you are still around??

    Anyway, thank you :)

    The other S is not here as of now :)

  37. New to your blog..Congratulations on your new job..We all go through good and bad days..Hang in there. Everything will be alright.

  38. New to your blog..Congratulations on your new job..We all go through good and bad days..Hang in there. Everything will be alright.

  39. Hey weourlife :)

    Welcome here.
    Thanks for all the wishes :) Am already having a lot of fun here :)

  40. I just came across your blog. Congrats on your new job!

    I really identified with the 2 different aspects of your personality. I feel the same too, sometimes. But that's a perfectly normal feeling, I guess, it reminds us we're human and adaptable.

  41. *nudge mudge* will u come back to blogging soon? i miss u! :)

  42. @Weourlife:
    Welcome here :) Hope you like the drama galore! :D
    Thanks for dropping by.

    @ Nitisha:
    Heyy :) Thank you! Definitely Human. Am glad you could identify with what I have written. :)

  43. @ Sunshine:

    My dear dear Sunshine,
    You made my day by saying that!
    i <3 you :)

    Be back soon.

  44. R u Gemini.....thts the only explanation I can think of;-D

    Get back girl.....!!!!!

  45. @ Reflections:

    hahaha :) am not a gemini. A virgo :)
    I should be back real soon!

  46. no plans to come back to this space and write???

  47. u bug me to get back & now tht I'm back u disappear.....

    UPDATE Woman!!!!

  48. @ Scribby and Reflections:

    :( :( :(
    yes! I shall! Very soon!

  49. Hey! I feel exactly the same way about the two faces bit! You write really well! :D


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